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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Hot Pants, Sex Toys and Boob-Centric Fights
Feb 22nd
traveled to Catalina for Tamra’s birthday. Eddie and Vicki held hands. So Tamra put Brooks’ hand on her own boob. Eddie got pissed.
And that’s where we’re picking up with the most recent episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Let’s break it all down in THG’s official +/- recap below!
Tamra realizes the error of her boob-grabbing ways.
She and Eddie go for a walk. Tamra breaks down and cries that she was jealous of all the attention Eddie was paying to Vicki and admits to the boob grab as an attention…uh…grabber because she LOVES.HIM.SO.MUCH.
Minus 5 to Tamra for being ridiculous.
Vicki and Brooks, meanwhile, think nothing of Tamra’s forced man-handling and go straight to dinner. Where the promptly order more booze.
Minus 5 to them because more booze is exactly what NONE OF THEM need right now.
Back on the mainland, Heather and Terry go to dinner and the waitress hands Heather the menu already opened. As soon as the waitress is out of earshot, Heather feels compelled to complain that the menu being already opened makes her feel rushed. Uh, Heather, I’m pretty sure that’s a courtesy so you won’t chip your manicure.
Terry says he’s so hungry he doesn’t even think he can talk to Heather. I think he can’t talk to her because she’s a picky, snotty bitch.
She calls him “part husband, part little brother she never wanted” in a one-on-one, so I’m calling the fact that she looks at him as a brother Problem the First with this couple.
And then, just in case she hasn’t been ridiculous enough, she equates ordering Chinese takeout or reheating leftover soup with cooking dinner for her family every night. I wish that would fly with my husband.
Minus 20, Heather, for being obnoxious.
“I just…I’ve never loved any one as much as I love Eddie,” she blubbers, wiping her tears on her napkin.
Then Tamra lays down the law—Vicki and Eddie are not to so much as high five one another because seeing them touch even in the most platonic of ways makes her psycho.
Minus 10 to Tamra for being… well… a psycho.
This dinner just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
After reconciling and proclaiming they just need to drink more, Tamra begins to grill Brooks on whether or not he’s into the T or the A. Does he like fake boobs? BIG fake boobs? Big asses?
His answer? “I like Vicki’s.”
Good man, Brooks. Good man. Plus 5 for you for knowing the kosher answer here, even if you did inadvertently say that Vicki has a fat ass.
Gretchen and Slade are taking their overweight Chihuahuas for a walk. Except Gretchen picks one of them up. That’s not how you exercise a dog, Gretchen. And you’re wearing the most ridiculous outfit I’ve ever seen in my life. Minus 5 for the hot pants and boots get-up.
Slade’s been asked to do an improv stand-up routine and Gretchen’s not sure if he can pull this off. Slade thinks this is a career opportunity. Gretchen thinks he’s going to bomb, but she supports him. Hesitantly. Plus 5 for being sort of supportive.
Tamra and Eddie are back on the boat returning home from Catalina. Tamra doesn’t feel good. Eddie blames it on the boat. I’m blaming it on the booze.
Eddie has the most genius plan ever—that they not drink anymore. Oh, and that Tamra not put another man’s hand on her boob anymore. And he won’t touch her friends. But then she says she doesn’t care if he touches Vicki and their fight was stupid.
She says he’s her “hot dog” stand. And Eddie says “No, I’m a taco stand.” Tamra looks shocked. “No, I’m the taco stand!” Eddie replies, “No, you’re a pink taco stand.” And then Tamra almost vomited and so did I. Minus 5 because now I can never eat hot dogs or tacos again.
Heather’s planning a painting party. With cocktails and hors d’ouevres. None of the women have any idea what this “painting party” business is. None of them. Like, they’ve never even heard of this concept before. They are way more inclined to just purchase their paintings and not DIY them. Plus 10 to Heather for coming up with something original.
Tamra and Gretchen meet up for a little shopping. They’re bonding. Over sex toys. Tamra spends $265 there. I’m thinking this trip to the sex toy shop was a way to bond with Gretchen AND to patch things up with Eddie. Plus 10 for trying, Tamra.
Heather arrives at the painting party studio and has her first glass of champagne while her caterer sets up the completely carb-free meal she requested after all the carb talk at Vicki’s party. Minus 5 Heather. CARBS ARE GOOD FOR YOU.
Alexis and Gretchen split a limo ride and talk about the party at Vicki’s. Alexis is still hung up on the Peggy thing. She is the teacher from Charlie Brown to me right now. Let it go, Alexis. Just let it go. This is going to give you wrinkles and then you’re going to need more Botox. Minus 10 for rehashing this drama every.single.time. you can.
Vicki is the first to arrive at the studio, so she and Heather bond over their awesome immune systems. Tamra shows up and says she hasn’t been feeling well. Vicki, or maybe Heather, drop the “are you pregnant?” question. Tamra lets us all know she just put in her new Nuva Ring. Vicki says “I don’t do babies. Not at our age.” Tamra’s quick to say “our age? I’m not quite your age.” Vicki’s eyes get a little wide.
NICE, Tamra. Nice. I see a blow-out in your future, and I’m not talking about the kind you get at the salon. Minus 5 for insulting your supposed friend.
Gretchen drops the bomb on Alexis—she and Tamra are mending their fences. Alexis, as Gretchen’s “true friend,” advises Gretchen to be careful. Good looking out, Alexis. I think. Plus 5.
The ladies have all arrived at the painting studio and Heather, in addition to being a mom of 4, wife to a plastic surgeon, actress, model, and Chinese takeout orderer extraordinaire, is also planning to open a restaurant with some girlfriends. Minus 5 for being even more pretentious than I originally thought possible.
Heather and Vicki are two peas in a pod when it comes to being prudes. The minute Tamra and Gretchen start recounting their voyage to the sex toy shop, Heather and Vicki clam up like…clams. Plus 10 to Gretchen and Tamra for making the ladies squirm.
Finally, the painting teacher arrives! And Vicki insults her by saying there’s no way her name (Timree) can be her real name! Because who names her kid Timree!? Minus 5 Vicki, for being ridiculous.
Vicki cannot handle that Tamra and Gretchen have something going on. Cannot handle it. And neither can Alexis. While Tamra and Gretchen are being completely rational human beings, Alexis is buddying up to Vicki and spilling the beans on the Gretchen-Tamra partnership.
Heather’s being pretentious again. Her strength is acting. And singing. And oh, did we know she toured with a 14 piece band for 4 years? Minus 5 more.
Terry shows up to meet the women his wife are spending time with. He recounts his day – a face lift in the morning, a nose job in the afternoon, and then a breast cancer reconstruction surgery. His favorite surgery is the face lift. Not the altruistic reconstruction. I’m giving him a side-eye for this.
Then he says he hates weddings. He even hated his own wedding. Plus 5, Terry, because you’re not afraid to admit you maybe made a mistake.
Except it gets better.
He says he and Heather were married happily for 5 years or so, but unfortunately, they’ve been married for 12 years. Plus 5 more because you made me laugh.
Tamra says “I was married 12 years once! Now I’m having GOOD SEX.” Vicki and Heather squirm a little more and Heather runs for the wine. Plus 10 to Tamra! Heather’s uncomfortable!
Brooks shows up, too. And I think he might be wearing the same outfit he wore on the boat to Catalina. It’s the outfit Vicki bought him and insisted he wear. I feel like she should buy him some more clothes so he can quit recycling this shirt. Except maybe she’d have to actually go to work to be able to afford them.
The paintings are framed and the women start debating who did the best job. Four out of five think Vicki’s is the best. Tamra, to be obnoxious, says she thinks Gretchen’s is the best. Gretchen squeals “Oh, you’re my BEE EFF EEEEFFFFFF!!!!!” And Vicki’s face almost explodes. Plus 10 to Tamra and Gretchen because Vicki’s face was priceless.
Minus 5 to Vicki, however, for leaving without even acknowledging Tamra. Be better than that, Vicki.
Gretchen comes in and Slade’s cooking spaghetti. Yay carbs!! Plus 5.
Gretchen reveals that she’s been getting messages all day about Brooks. He’s a “dead beat dad” who owes a lot of money in back child support and alimony and has been arrested. Gretchen’s willing to give the benefit of the doubt because anyone on the internet can make up lies. But she’s only giving so much benefit.
Slade, however, is not even sort of willing to give anyone the benefit of any doubt since Vicki and Tamra called him shady. Plus 10 to Slade for sticking up for himself.
EPISODE TOTAL: EVEN! SEASON TOTAL: +20!
Next week? Alexis tells Heather she’s a TV news anchor and then has no idea what an anchor actually is. That should be entertaining.
Teen Mom 2 Reunion Recap: Who Relapsed? Who Got an STD?
Feb 22nd
Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer, Kailyn Lowry and Chelsea Houska reunited last night in part one of the MTV reality show’s time-honored “checkup” with Dr. Drew Pinsky.
The reunion show rehashes where they are at “this moment” in their lives … this moment being at LEAST nine months ago, or about five years in Teen Mom 2 land.
Leah was not engaged to Jeremy Calvert and getting jumped by female hooligans, Jenelle was facing jail for the first time (how quaint) … this is all ancient history.
Still, there was plenty of drama to be revealed …
Jenelle Evans was, at least at the time this was taped, a few months after the Teen Mom 2 season finale, back together with bum boyfriend Kieffer Delp. Minus 20.
She also relapsed and failed a drug test. Minus 50.
Dr. Drew: “You’re on probation, smoking pot, hanging out with a guy you filed domestic violence charges against. Tell me where you’re better?!” PWNED. Plus 25.
On the bright side, Jenelle has a “set schedule,” has been attending school and isn’t arguing (as much) with her mom, Barbara. In relative terms, of course. Plus 5.
Barbara in the houuuuuse! Plus 10.
Babs agrees that she and her daughter are “a lot better” since Jenelle’s stepfather “moved out with a Hooters waitress!” Plus 5 for her cackling as she says this.
Asked to sum up North Carolina’s favorite hoodie-wearing hobo, Babs said simply of Kieffer Delp, “He’s so no good.” Eloquent, Babs. Eloquent. Plus 10.
Next up is Kailyn Lowry … and Jo Rivera, and boyfriend Jordan! Uh oh. Plus 15.
“Honestly I’ve treated him pretty bad,” Kailyn admitted tearfully about her one-night stand with Jo, insisting she “only cheated on Jordan once.” Yeah. Minus 15.
Jo doesn’t want to “try to force a relationship” with Kailyn, who wants to be with Jordan. “It should be a mutual agreement if we break up.” Wait, what? Minus 10.
“You don’t know how hard it is to be a Teen Mom,” she cries, plugging an MTV brand (Plus 15). “It hurts me that I’m hurting you.” Wait, what? Minus 30.
Jordan points out that they can’t break up, because they are not a couple … at which point Kailyn dramatically storms off the stage. Nice, Kails. Plus 20.
After she came back, Kailyn’s IUD was discussed. Oye. Minus 5.
It’s great at preventing pregnancy. Chlamydia, not so much, even if you have sex in the shower. Wait, WHAT?! Plus 40 for that one we never saw coming.
Jordan and Kailyn revealed they’d both been tested and treated. Plus 10.
Then the light bulb went off and Jo realized he was being thrown under the bus. “Wait, did you just blame me for giving you STDs?” Oh yes. Plus 15.
“How do I know you’re not having sex with someone else?” he responded. Fair point, but dude, you’re the one with groupies … who need to get tested. Minus 40.
EPISODE TOTAL: +10! SEASON TOTAL: +58!
Terrence Howard Ordered to Pay Estranged Wife $50K
Feb 22nd
ugly legal dispute.
Howard’s camp had claimed that the Red Tails star is low on cash and Michelle Ghent Howard’s allegations of mistreatment were harming his reputation.
Apparently the judge did not concur.
According to Michelle Howard’s attorney, Karen Donahoe, he maintains a $76,000 / month lifestyle after making $2.6 million as an actor in the past year.
Terrence’s attorney, Christian Markey, countered: “He hasn’t had a paycheck. No job offers. And he only has $20,000 in cash. She’s got more money.”
The once-happy couple quietly tied the knot in January 2010, but Ghent filed for divorce a year later … and said Howard beat and threatened to kill her.
She obtained a restraining order. Howard claims she’s a racist, jealous monster who claimed that she “never wanted to marry a n—-r in the first place.”
An evidentiary hearing is scheduled for April 23.
Until then, Howard owes $1,800 a month for her Range Rover, $20,000 for her attorney fees, $20,000 for accountant fees and $10,000 in spousal support.
The Hunger Games Tickets Go on Sale, Mall Tour Announced
Feb 22nd
The world won’t be able to actually start watching The Hunger Games until it comes out on March 23, but that’s exactly 30 days from now, which means one thing:
Tickets are on sale for this upcoming blockbuster! Visit sites such as Fandango.com, Moviefone.com and MovieTickets.com right this very moment for more information. We won’t be offended, don’t worry.
Meanwhile, the folks behind The Hunger Games have announced a mall tour in promotion of the movie.
It will kick off with Gary Ross in Los Angeles and include such stars as Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth, who will answer attendee questions and give away free stuff. We’ve posted the dates and venues below.
Saturday, March 3
LOS ANGELES, Westfield Century City
Talent: Gary Ross, Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth
Tuesday, March 6
ATLANTA, JW Marriott Atlanta Buckhead
Talent: Liam Hemsworth, Leven Rambin, Dayo Okeniyi, Amandla Stenberg and Jack Quaid
Wednesday, March 7
PHOENIX, Scottsdale Fashion Square
Talent: Liam Hemsworth, Leven Rambin, Dayo Okeniyi and Jack Quaid
CHICAGO, Westfield Fox Valley
Talent: Josh Hutcherson, Isabelle Fuhrman and Jacqueline Emerson
Thursday, March 8
MIAMI, Westfield Broward
Talent: Jennifer Lawrence, Alexander Ludwig and Amandla Stenberg
DALLAS, Galleria Dallas
Talent: Josh Hutcherson, Isabelle Fuhrman and Jacqueline Emerson
Friday, March 9
MINNEAPOLIS, Mall Of America
Talent: Jennifer Lawrence, Alexander Ludwig, Amandla Stenberg, Josh Hutcherson, Isabelle Fuhrman and Jacqueline Emerson
Saturday, March 10
SEATTLE, University Village
Talent: Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson
Ashley Hebert on Courtney Robertson: Can’t Figure Out That Wedding Vow Thief!
Feb 22nd
Ashley Hebert, who famously rejected Ben Flajnik, is trying to give Courtney Robertson the benefit of the doubt. She really is.
But while Ash admits she didn’t find Court as despicable as usual on this week’s episode of The Bachelor, she’s totally calling her out for one thing:
Ripping off her so-called heartfelt vows from Sex and the City!
Courtney Robertson Hometown Date
“First of all, I do have to say that Courtney’s ceremony was a little bit of a rip-off idea – because we did that on my season, with William,” recalls Hebert.
“And she blatantly stole her vows from Sex and the City!”
In their faux wedding, Courtney memorably told Ben, “I am looking for love. Real love. Passionate, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
Sarah Jessica Parker said, “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
Remember? To Mikhail Baryshnikov, from the series finale? When Carrie breaks it off with the Russian? Right before Big tracks her down in Paris?
Anyway, Ashley Hebert is like the rest of us – flummoxed by Courtney.
“But I’m trying to figure out if she’s just trying to find a sweet way to tell him that she loves him, or if she’s just trying to move on to the next round.”
“Is this forced? Is this real? I’m having a really hard time figuring it out.”
You and us both, Ash. But Hebert, who turned down Ben’s proposal in preparation to accept J.P. Rosenbaum’s (they are still engaged), thinks it’s working.
“You can see it in his face, ‘This is it.’ And he believes her,” she says. “If I were the other girls and I was watching this back, I would be so upset.”
“He pretty much married Courtney, pretty much had sex with her when they went skinny-dipping. You know, it’s like, what a rip-off for the other girls.”
“Especially if he doesn’t end up with Courtney!”
For those fans who are shocked that he’s not going to end up with Kacie Boguskie, who was let go this week, Hebert says that she realized something.
“I think Ben sees Kacie as a friend, not a lover,” she says. “I wish she had acted more like a woman, instead of a little girl, with the batons and the band.”
And as for Kacie’s question – “What the f–k happened?!” – Hebert says simply that “Courtney happened. After knowing Ben. I think he will choose Courtney.”
Click here to see what The Bachelor spoilers we’ve read say about that.
Jessica Biel Debuts Engagement Ring From Justin Timberlake
Feb 22nd
Jessica Biel debuted her engagement ring from Justin Timberlake Saturday.
We don’t have photos to prove it, as the notoriously private couple would never flaunt such a thing (they’re the anti-Kardashians). But it happened.
The actress, 29, was seen getting cozy with her man, 31, at a Saturday Night Live after-party, the first time Biel went out in public with her sparkler.
It was a rare public display of affection for a couple who doesn’t often step out together and who didn’t even announce their own engagement.
They usually don’t even attend premieres of the other’s films together, so that the person starring gets the full spotlight for their work each time.
This time, though, Biel, 29, and Timberlake, 31, “were very lovey all night and kissed a few times,” a guest at the Ristorante Asellina party says.
The couple, who started dating in 2007, celebrated Timberlake’s appearance on SNL as Grammy-winning folk sensation Bon Iver with other guests.
Also spending time with them: former SNL star Amy Poehler and current cast mate Kristen Wiig, who “loved the ring and chatted Biel up about it.”
Justin and Jessica are currently trailing Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in our favorite couples tournament matchup. Be sure to vote!
Photo: WENN.com
Brooke Mueller on Way to "Total and Complete Sobriety," Rep Says
Feb 22nd
For Brooke Mueller, let’s hope the 37th time is the charm.
The troubled ex-wife of Charlie Sheen entered a rehab facility in December, but rep Steve Honig now confirms to E! News that she’s back in Los Angeles and focused on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
“After successfully completing an intensive three-month drug and alcohol treatment program, Brooke returned to Los Angeles yesterday and has immediately begun an aggressive outpatient program that includes a sober companion,” Honig says. “Brooke is feeling better than ever before, and is committed to continuing treatment for as long as necessary to maintain her total and complete sobriety.”
In late 2011, Muller was arrested on charge of cocaine possession and assault, stemming from a nightclub incident in Aspen. She was actually bailed out of jail by Sheen and committed to treatment shortly after her arraignment.
Photo: WENN.com
Great Moments in Rick Santorum Headline Writing
Feb 22nd
When raging homophobe and Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum rolls into Cumming, Georgia, to a campaign stop, the puns are almost too easy.
Still, this headline, first posted on Buzzfeed, defies description:
For more on Rick Santorum, a real “family values” conservative who has shot to the top tier of the GOP race against all odds, just Google Rick Santorum.
It’s eye-opening, the etymology of the former Senator’s name.
Well played, Internet … and CUMMING headline writer.
Rihanna and Chris Brown Remixes: Too Soon? Too Much? Too Hot?
Feb 22nd
Rihanna and Chris Brown collaborated on a pair of remixes recently, a surprising move considering all that transpired between the former lovebirds.
The 2009 Grammys marked the beginning of a domestic violence drama that revealed a darker side to Chris’ relationship at the time with Rihanna.
But nearly three years to the day he beat her senseless, Brown, 22, and Rihanna, 24, are again spending time together – musically and personally.
The former couple, whose friendly behavior is no secret on Twitter and in person, hit the studio last week to record parts on each other’s songs.
The remix of Rihanna’s single “Birthday Cake,” featuring Chris Brown, lacks no shortage of sex appeal – not to mention some very NSFW lyrics.
“Girl, I wanna f–k you right now,” sings Brown, whose return to the Grammys sparked controversy. “Been a long time/Been missing your body.”
While Rih doesn’t get as down and dirty with explicit lyrics on Brown’s remix of “Turn up the Music,” she suggests a rather revealing message.
“I love you, baby,” she sings.
Rihanna clearly does not care about any public response to her being with Chris again, but singing with him and dating him are different things.
So far, there’s no indication that they’re back together, despite the rumors of them hooking up numerous times. But it makes you wonder.
What do you think of their remixes – and the fact that Rihanna and Chris Brown are collaborating with each other in general?
Bobby Brown to Pen Whitney Houston Tell-All?!?
Feb 22nd
Bobby Brown, this may be your prerogative, but it’s a really bad idea.
According to sources in the publishing world, the singer was planning to pen a memoir about Whitney Houston a few years ago, but interest “wasn’t that great” at the time. Now, however?
“The market has changed,” this insider tells The Huffington Post. “Now is the time for a book that details an honest look into the life of Whitney.”
But there’s no way Brown would exploit Whitney’s death, right? Not when daughter Bobbi Kristina is suffering through such a tragic downward spiral, right?
“This is a man who left his ex-wife’s funeral because he didn’t like his seats and went to a paying gig that night,” a friend of Whitney tells the site. “He didn’t get on stage that night because he needed to sing his greatest hits or because Whitney would have wanted him to entertain his fans, he did it to get a paycheck – the same reason he now wants to write a tell-all book.”
Sadly, that’s a very good point.